Among the castrati

Yesterday being my wife’s birthday, we drove to an art museum. While there I glimpsed homo castratus, a rare and delicate species seen only in such places, art galleries and Whole Foods. They are very easy to spot by their plumage, posture and mate. He is invariably clad in short pants of drab coloration in most seasons. His mate (always female for although he is quite correct politically, he is not gay) is invariably wearing pants, usually jeans. He usually is slumped forward, particularly about the head and neck which, when combined with his expression, makes him resemble a basset hound. His mate invariably walks erect, shoulders back, head forward looking at all comers directly. This affords another clue as to the species. Look him in the eye and he turns his head and looks away. Look her in the eye, and she’ll try to stare you down. I’ve been in several amusing contests of this nature, which can be won by smiling pleasantly.

My wife says that this is reaction formation, as I was forced to wear short pants to grade school until the 5th grade. Perhaps.

Since most readers of this post are techies of one form or another, here is some fatherly advice. Marry a non-techie, or if you must, someone far outside your field. You’ll learn a lot and life will be more interesting, and perhaps you’ll be as well.

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Comments

  • Alice  On September 22, 2014 at 12:11 am

    What an ass. Here’s some advice for you: get more information or criticize less.

  • Dana  On September 26, 2014 at 1:12 am

    Oh au contraire, I think it’s quite funny – and nicely written. I particularly like the “which can be won by smiling pleasantly” bit, strikes me as useful.

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